Seks terasa paling tepat bagi seorang wanita setelah pasangan menghabiskan waktu berkualitas bersama. Seorang wanita merespons paling baik ketika pasangannya menunjukkan betapa dia peduli padanya sebagai pribadi. Perhatian yang diberikan suaminya memotivasinya untuk membalas budi dengan menyenangkannya. Dia harus berada dalam kerangka berpikir yang benar agar bisa menerima kenikmatan seksual. Pertama, seorang wanita perlu merasa nyaman dengan dirinya sendiri. Berhubungan seks tidak menghibur seorang wanita. Jika dia tidak bahagia atau jika dia merasa stres (atau tidak fit!), dia mungkin tidak merasa seksi, yang berarti dia tidak merasa diinginkan. Sayangnya, keadaan pikiran seorang wanita belum tentu bisa diubah oleh pasangannya.
Secondly a woman needs to feel good about her partner. Heterosexual men often assume that it is only women who need to attract a lover. By dressing in an attractive and sexy way a man can demonstrate his appreciation of the effort a woman makes to be attractive for him. He also needs to invest time in non-sexual intimacy so that sex is not the only activity a couple shares.
Thirdly it helps if a woman feels tuned into eroticism This can be quite random. Sometimes a romantic movie might turn her on. A more reliable approach is to build in some anticipation (such as planning a sex session). If a woman is amenable, she appreciates being flattered by her partner's sexual interest in her. Some women enjoy some aspects of pornographic movies particularly when there is some story content. Some women watch porn movies with a partner to help bring some variety to their sex life.
Sex with a new partner most usually begins with kissing. A woman can certainly enjoy passionate kissing but, even as a lead into sex, kissing does not cause a woman's mind to be erotically aroused. Men initiate kissing to indicate their desire for intercourse. In French (or deep) kissing one partner inserts their tongue into the other person's mouth. Kissing varies depending on how open the mouth is, how long kissing lasts and how much movement is involved. Some people dislike too much saliva flowing which tends to happen if kissing goes on for too long. Passion can also be communicated by the firmness of the contact and how much the whole body hugging is included with a kiss. The most romantic kisses are firm and not too wet.
Even when a woman knows that a lover can give her pleasure, she is not motivated by sex to the degree that men are. This pleasure is much more vital to her male lover than it is to the woman herself. She also appreciates that her emotional state affects her sexual willingness. She needs to be motivated to give to a lover, which depends on the state of their relationship.
A woman may enjoy her lover admiring her body and talking about what he wants to do to her. A man can spend time preparing a woman's body for sex. Shaving a woman's pubic hair feels kinky and makes oral sex more pleasant for the man. An enema can cause physical arousal (internal tumescence) so that even intercourse is more arousing than normal.
Young women can often find intercourse painful. As she ages, a woman's mind may respond to the more subconscious turn-ons associated with sexual activity and her body may respond to being stimulated by a lover.
A woman's amenability to exploring sex play depends on the pleasure she enjoys without needing to put in too much effort. As she gains maturity and experience, a woman can enjoy the opportunity to explore sex play. This depends on whether a couple has invested in communicating over sex.
Men have a sub-conscious response that transports them instantly from a social situation to the erotic world. A woman needs time for her mind to tune into the sensations of being stimulated. Build-up with a partner takes much longer than when using fantasy during masturbation alone. A woman's mind has no conscious focus except the sensations of her partner touching her while she thinks about the consequences of his erection.
A woman may enjoy using a blindfold to focus on sensations and low-key bondage (tying hands or feet together or to the bed) to heighten the sense of being desired by a lover. Sex toys can be used to tease, bring in some anticipation (of the real thing!) and take the pressure off a man's erection. A man can enjoy arousing his lover while a woman enjoys being pampered. The woman needs to encourage a lover by reacting appreciatively!
Pria terlibat dalam aktivitas seksual untuk melepaskan akumulasi gairah sebagai orgasme. Namun wanita responsif hanya bisa membangkitkan gairah secara sadar dengan menggunakan fantasi selama masturbasi saja. Wanita (terlepas dari orientasinya) tidak terangsang (secara sadar dalam pikiran mereka) dengan seorang kekasih sehingga tidak dapat mengalami orgasme yang sebenarnya. Seorang wanita heteroseksual terlibat dalam aktivitas seksual dalam menanggapi inisiatif pasangannya selama bertahun-tahun tanpa gairah atau orgasme. Wanita yang lebih dewasa mungkin mengalami semacam klimaks fisik dari stimulasi pintu masuk vagina (vaginal fisting) dan melalui stimulasi anal.
Banyak pria berpikir bahwa hubungan intim yang lama adalah kunci untuk mengalami orgasme selama hubungan seksual, tetapi hubungan seksual yang lama tidak membantu bagi wanita dan beberapa wanita mungkin bersyukur untuk menyelesaikannya dengan cepat.
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